My story begins in December of 2007. While on a mission trip in Cancun, we found ourselves engaged in an incredible house church one night. As things progressed, the pastor revealed to us that a woman among us had been diagnosed with cancer only a few days before. With incredible boldness he announced that we were going to heal her. As a product of a rather conservative and honestly very boring church growing up, I had never experienced something like this. I joined in though in laying hands on her and praying. It was intense. But still I had doubts. Does God really heal in this way? Is it ok to be this bold and expect, really and truly expect God to move when asked? Questions like this persisted in my head until a week or two after we got back from the trip. We all received an email from the pastor proclaiming that the woman had returned to the doctor and no signs of the cancer were found. I didn't know how to handle it- 'whoa', was about all I could come up with. It was odd thought how even through being part of a miracle I still couldn't accept it fully. I prayed and begged for faith like that of a child's.
My struggle with accepting miracles continued on into this past summer. It was then that I was given a documentary by a good friend of mine called 'Finger of God'. I was blown away by the stories of miracles and signs that were happening around the world. I wanted this. I wanted this kind of life. Still though it was hard to rewire 20 years of thinking that these things only happened back in 'biblical times'. That is until a few weeks ago…
I was on fall retreat in Charleston just kind of taking a break and waiting around for the next thing to happen when I received a vision. I saw myself standing on stage in Tillman with a lot of people around me. I can't quote what I felt God say cause I'm not sure it was ever in words but I got this overwhelming sense that my shoulder was going to be healed and that it would be an example to the unbelieving. Odd, right? I sat there for a second and honestly just thought, 'ok'. Later my thoughts were sent kind of all over the place, the main one being 'why now?', because I had lived with pain in my shoulder for 4 years and had basically come to the point of accepting it. I kept the vision in my mind over the next few days with a little bit of anticipation. Transition happened to be in Tillman that week and I wasn't exactly sure if it was going to happen there or at FCA. When it didn't happen at Transition I went to FCA with a weird easiness and expectation. As Drew became quiet I felt God tell me that this was it, and I better be bold enough to go down there. So Drew pauses and asks if anyone has a right shoulder problem. I think to myself, 'ok, lets go'. I raise my hand and he asked me to come down. As I did I saw others approaching the stage to pray for me. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. As they prayed I felt coolness and relief pour over my shoulder that had felt nothing but tightness and pain for years. I have never felt so light. The most incredible thing to me were the healings that occurred in the seats during the prayer. I was told two people had their shoulders healed while sitting in their seats and another was healed afterward. Intense, ridiculous, and unbelievable. This is what I want more of. I realized that night that its not a matter of how much faith you have but that you have faith at all, even that of a mustard seed is enough for you to see and experience the glory of the Kingdom of God.
-Alex Fagan
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